Journal 55: Public Speaking

i like public speaking alor actually since i liek to be in the center of attention. Standing on the stage kind of scares me since i don't have that much expierence to give like a well educated speech and stuff. I suppose just reading something on the stage like today's poetry contest is pretty easy since you just read a poem. However, if they could actually read their poem in a interesting manner like how the poets in one of the poet society show says them, that then would be extremely interesting and well appraised. I can't do that, im not manipulated enough and well experience in these really showy speeches. Im really afraid that people would thinkm im boring and fall asleep you know. That's one of the reason i screwed up my speech for vice president. Sigh, oh well, I'm not running for that again next year, too much work and people just won't listen to what i have to say. So~screw the presidency of the student council.
I really like performing in front of people, it makes me feel at ease since im really showy and acting alot of crap whenever i have time. It still nervous me though when i really have to do it in front of everybody. A sense of uncertainty regarding my performance will make me feel uneasy on the stage.