Big Black Caves Everywhere
dark, sharp, sparkly brown pillars all around me
lost and lonely inside
hopelessly searching the exit
forever lost here
Surrounding me
trees smile and wave at me happily
leaves fly and twirl
the presence of nature
is everywhere next to me
Deep in the ocean blue
a mysterious land
where mermaids swim
lobsters party and fish dance
remains strange to human beings
I like how your first line contains 6 syllables, your second line contains 11 syllables, your third line contains 6 syllables, your fourth line contains 8 syllables, and your fifth line contains 5 syllables.
回覆刪除As for your second poem; your first line contains 4 syllables, 9 syllables for the second line, correct number of syllables for the third line, congratulations, 6 syllables for the fourth line, correct on the last line too.
For the third poem; 6 syllables for the first two lines each, 4 syllables for the third line, correct on the last two lines.
From 5 mistakes to 3 mistakes and 3 mistakes I can see progress, keep up the good work!